I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
I'm at about main and main street
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
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