I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
Randomize
