the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
