Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
