I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
Randomize
