his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
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