Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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