Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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