I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
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