I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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