we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Randomize
