dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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