Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
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