Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
The 23 Most Inappropriate Things To Happen At A Funeral
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?