Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.