Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in