I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.