I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
my sisters under your porch take her home
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
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