You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
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Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
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Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
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