I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize