just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
Randomize