what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
Randomize