$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize