first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Randomize
