Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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