remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
