My sheets look like a crime scene.
If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Randomize
