very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Randomize
