if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
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