I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
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