We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
I wish they made helmets for livers.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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