Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
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