Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
Randomize
