4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
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