We're facebook friends in real life
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Randomize
