I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
