My friends, they love my intelligence
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
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