Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
