I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Less talking, more tequila
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Randomize
