Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
It's never too late to be topless.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
