We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
The struggles of a small town man whore
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Randomize
