I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
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