He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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