Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
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