direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
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