"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
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