have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Randomize
