I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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