video games are the ultimate cock blocker
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
