I am full of burrito and curiosity
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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