Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
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