i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.