I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
23 Fathers Confess The Best Way They’ve Messed With Their Daughter’s Boyfriend
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
25 Children of Helicopter Parents Admit The Most Horrible Thing They Were Put Through
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.