When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
These 19 People Are Into The Grossest Sex Fetishes
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
People Weigh In On Whether It’s Okay to Bang Your Roommate
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him