Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot