Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
27 Unforgettable Hookup Texts
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
19 Groupies Confess What It’s Really Like To Hook Up With Famous Rockstars
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now