I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
pray to the hookup gods
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
