make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
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