Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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