I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
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I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
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View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Randomize