just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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