There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
