what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
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