I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
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I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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