My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
