He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
