I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize