I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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