I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
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