tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
She needs sedatives and a leash
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
did you just send me my own nude
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize