That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
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